Closing my personal debts in Career choices

Pic Credit: Canva

The Trigger

The year was 2013. I was taking an online course in Emotional Intelligence from Prof Boyatzis of Case Western University. One exercise required me to go back in time and think of some person who had influenced me in taking some important decision, that had impacted my life.

When I went back down memory lane, two incidents stood out starkly. For both of them, the mentor was my father.

Background

I grew up in a traditional middle-class household in India in the seventies and eighties. Living in a liberal home, most academic and career decisions were left to me and my brother. Guidance was always given when sought, but we were expected to be our own decision makers.

While I normally sailed thru my studies, at a particular point, I had gone thru a difficult academic period. I was at a cross-road in making a career decision. Computers had been newly introduced in India and were not yet common, as they are today.

Influencing Learning Choices

My father encouraged me to join a particular course in programming from an Institute. While reluctant to do so, I did enrol. I took to programming like a fish to water, with my analytical skills.

Being fortunate to join the IT revolution in its infancy, I could later execute projects in several countries across the globe and explore their culture. My passion for travel, which I again inherited from my parents, was thus fulfilled.

The other nudge he gave me was in doing my MBA. I wanted to pursue a career in research. He even organized a call with a Professor who could provide details on the curriculum and the career prospects an MBA would provide.

My MBA course introduced me to a world of learning in a wide range of subjects. It opened up new vistas and made me a life-long learner. It was amazing that he could assess my skills and guide me to fields, which he was broadly aware of, but had absolutely no experience in.

Key persons in your life unknowingly influence your decisions. These triggers some times affect your life journey.

Achieving Closure

Alas it was too late to express gratitude. My father had passed away many years ago.

While I was extremely grateful to my father in instilling in me the right principles and values, I had not even realized his contribution to my decisions in the field of education. These choices later deeply impacted my career explorations, journey and eventual success.

I resolved to make up for this lapse by building a closer bond with my mother. Thru regular conversations over phone, being a better listener, and appreciating her perspective.

I can never quite make up for my lapse in expressing my gratitude for my father’s contribution to my career development. I am sure that he, wherever he is, would feel more satisfied and fulfilled, that I have gained some new understanding in life. That is the only consolation I have.

Please share in the comments, any defining moments in your life where you have been deeply influenced by a person, yet you failed to acknowledge it in that moment. What lessons did they teach you and were you able to later achieve some form of closure?

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