It Takes Dislocating My Elbow To Start Writing Again

A bouldering story

It happened three weeks ago on a Tuesday night.

“Dude, you’re like an hour late”.

“There is construction on the Ringbahn. The replacement bus was super slow, and then I had to get a Nextbike². And I thought I booked for five-thirty…Sorry”.

“Oh. Okay”, he shrugs.

“I think I might head off”, says my friend, after having his fill of the action.

“All right. I might stay for another 20 minutes or something. I’ll see you at the bar”. We bump fists.

I catch my breath while hanging in the air with my feet just having enough friction to stay on the second and third footholds. I’m three metres up the wall on my 6th attempt to send¹⁰ the problem, and it’s the farthest point I’ve reached. Several people have tried the problem so far without success, and after almost two hours at the gym, my strength and patience are waning.

My arms are on fire. The pressure swiftly builds up to a breaking point, silencing the spectators. I take one defiant look at the final hold and gather all my strength. Deep breath.

A hurried glance towards the floor tells me I am very high but not high enough to badly injure myself as I land. Should I execute a forward roll? Or am I too high? When was the last time I did one of those? Can I safely pull it off? A millisecond passes, and doubt ensnares my mind as the red crash mat rushes towards me, and I decide to go with routine, the simplest way, and land on my feet with bent knees — like thousands of falls before. But the momentum squashes me unhindered towards the crimson surface, and my hands fly out instinctively.

I collapse to my left side. Something is wrong. I try to get up, but I don’t. The left side of my body is not coordinating with my right. Why am I not in control? Try again, this time with more effort. In my struggle, I see my left hand facing the wrong way up, and, out of my peripheral vision, the panicked reaction from one of the spectators, “Oh Jesus”, as he spins around to look away — confirming my fear.

“I think I ‘hurt’ my arm”, I blurt out, lying to myself that’s ‘all’ there is. More people catch on that something is horribly wrong, and one of them rushes off to call the ambulance. I slowly lay back down on the floor and freeze, in a combination of shock and fear for the worst.

Things start to happen quickly. A gym staff comes to my side, tells other climbers to stop climbing in the area, and asks me about what happened. It’s not her first time, she tells me. Her calmness slowly brings me out of the shock, and I stop feeling alone. It’s going to be okay. A climber comes forward and says he is a doctor. It’s my lucky day. He does a quick assessment, asks me about pain and sensations then lays an ice pack on my elbow.

My back and neck are probably fine since I can move my other limbs. I order my left fingertips to twitch with the least amount of force. Check. My nerves are intact. I start feeling optimistic while my arm starts feeling dull and numb. Another climber goes to get my phone from the locker. I don’t feel good calling my friend back from the bar (falling is a sensitive topic), but he is the closest. Guess I’ll owe him a beer.

“You’re so calm”, says the gym staff, as I make some dry jokes and pretend to calmly wait for the sound of sirens.

I am now sitting on my sofa with my left arm in a cast and using the dictation feature of Microsoft Word to write this story three weeks after the accident. Ironically, I’m finally starting to write again when I am actually unable to write (type).
I ended up having to get surgery. How this came to be, as well as the entire medical emergency and treatment process, is a saga of its own, which may well make its way here soon.

[1] Circle railway in Berlin A zone
[2] Rental bicycle
[3] Horizontal climbing wall rather than vertical
[4] Bouldering route
[5] A slope of more than 90°
[6] 3D geometrical shape with flat surfaces
[7] Bouldering lingo for joining the hands on the same hold
[8] Bouldering lingo for advancing short distances
[9] Type of hold to be grabbed from beneath
[10] Bouldering lingo for completing the route
[11] Bouldering lingo for “c’mon/go!”
[12] Difficult hold where only finger tips make contact
[13] Bouldering lingo for a jump

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